how we survived: 爺爺’s pantoum (ii) huiying b. chan

we wore watermelon husks to hide
lost cargo floating east to hong kong
water lilies & crickets our last witness
we departed the cattailed creek one final time. 

lost cargo floating east to hong kong
new hing dai treaded water, compasses toward freedom
we departed the cattailed creek one final time
white sharks awaited our legs in the depths.

new hing dai treaded water, compasses toward freedom
they said we had an 80% chance of making it
white sharks awaited our legs in the depths
(breath + breath x wanting) / death =

an 80% chance of making it
letters sent back announced survival.
(breath + breath x wanting) / death
banked on generations of dreaming

letters sent back announced survival.
we were promised work in the restaurants
banked on generations of dreaming
fishermen took pity & reeled us on gasoline tanks.

we were promised work in the restaurants
i clawed brown earth before collapsing.
fishermen took pity & reeled us on gasoline tanks
five bowls of rice in hong kong, my sweetest meal.

i clawed brown earth before collapsing
villagers found us gasping, fish out of water
five bowls of rice in hong kong, my sweetest meal.
memories escape me now.

villagers found us gasping, fish out of water.
my thoughts enter one ear & leave the other.
memories escape me now.
you being here helps me remember.

my thoughts enter one ear & leave the other.
water lilies & crickets, our last witness.
you being here helps me remember
we wore watermelon husks to hide.

for 爺爺
in memoriam

Published in The Shade Journal, Selected by Xan Phillips, Finalist for THEE SPACE Poetry Prize

Read part one of the poem here: how we survived: 爺爺’s pantoum (i) by huiying b. chan